It was a wonderful May in 1962. We were living in Ras Tanura and we always did something to out do each other on our birthdays. So, I felt that when I got up that morning, it was PARTY time. Here I was, a stud TEENager, and I knew that it was time to plan the BIG one.
After school, which went quiet for some reason, other than Mr. Goellner hitting me with a eraser from the chalk board because I was dropping my pencil repeatedly trying to peek at something, I don't remember what. Seems they were white tho... anyhow, I yelled out ,"That's not fair", to which the ever right Mr. Goellner said "IN your life, as you know it, Nothing is ever going to be fair". That did it. I bravely shot off my mouth and challenged him to a wrestling match at gym that afternoon. I was a big guy, and I knew this old geezer teacher was going to learn you don't screw around with a TEENAGER, by golly. The rest of the day was filled with much bravado and how I'd kick "butt" and be a living legend.
Gym, somehow that word stills chills me . . . . Miss Crow was there with the girls' class, who were supposed to be playing volleyball, and it seemed to me that there were a lot of others around I didn't recognize. I still think Mr. Dickerson bussed in the other districts schools for this World Wrestling Match.
So, on to the mat, and Mr. Goellner assumed the position: Down on all fours, me with one arm on his elbow and the other across his back. He then does something that gave me great cause for some real serious consideration of my wisdom - - he put one hand behind his back, grabbed his pants and said, "With one hand." Some fool, probably Miss Crow, yelled "wrestle!" and BAM!!! I was upside down, shorts around my neck, jock strap to the wind, and pinned in a pretzel hold, which gave me room to break wind and die of embarrassment.
To make matters worse, for the next five years, at least once a year I took him on, and lost every time to one hand.
Things rapidly degenerated. Mom had planned a birthday party, and so some ten or twelve of us got together at my house, and Mom brought out the cake. Gave Mighty Mike the knife and I went to cut. I used every way I knew how, wanted to get a chain saw, but to no avail . . . Mom had made the cake from the foam mattress of a pillow and frosted and decorated it . . So much for outsmarting Moms. After that, we decided to climb the hedges around our house and chase one another. These hedges were about seven feet tall and three feet wide. Ross Tyler was running, and still claims I pushed him, but off he went into Mom's cactus garden, and off like a banshee he went - around and around the house. Mom trying to tackle him, me in hysterics on top of the hedge, and his butt on fire. Finally, after presents and real cake and ice cream, we all left, and I was walking Dick Burgess home when we passed a large penned up area, that ARAMCO had built..
Now you know what that could only mean, so over the fence we went . . . and much to our amazement, there were some fifty cages with all kinds of desert animals - gazelles, jackals, large dogs, and a various grouping of others. My immediate thought was, "This isn't right", so out with the trusty Boy Scout knife I had just gotten for my birthday, and I cut holes in all of the fencing and let all of the animals go. Someone sure was pissed, as it seems these were being made ready to send to a zoo in Riyadh for the King - how was I to know, put a damn sign up. Of course, there may have been a 'No Entry' sign, but who read all those signs anyway. Would have gotten clear on this one, but some big mouth friend talked at school the next day, and I went round robin to all of the offices of Aramco. I think I had to even apologize to people just coming to Aramco and having just gotten off the plane.
But, it wasn't quite over. . . . . OH no, I had to go one better. . . so I called a couple of girls and two guys and we met in the shed out back of my house to play "strip poker". Our only knowledge was that every time you got an ace you had to take off something. We boys were smoking cigars, and maybe a touch of white. I had mentioned to Mom that the "guys" and I were going to play cards in the shed,, and she being an all wise and knowing witch, took all the face cards and aces without my knowing. So, after about four hours in sweltering evening heat, all still dressed and turning blue from cigar smoke, we finally figured out the problem. That was that: We all went home, and even now if I listen carefully, I can still hear Mom laughing for hours.....
This birthday, thirty four years later, I toasted Mr. Goellner in the evening sky, thanked God for my Mom and Dad, and went to bed, in quiet reflection of my glorious youth.
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A Teen's Birthday
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